Para presumir, hay que sufrir.

Talk about the pains of looking good! Vanity is luxury. It hurts your precious time, patience, and pocket.

Being dealt with like a soccer ball ("Let's shampoo your hair, keep your head steady, let's wash your hair, let's go back to the chair, let's wash your hair, let's go back to the chair, let's blow dry your hair") is no luxury.

It was pretty annoying not to know what it takes to semi-rebond your hair. Just when you thought you are done with the whole process as triggered by a blowdry, you hold on to your bladder to realize that they still need to put more chemicals on your hair!

I thought it would never be over, but boy, am I relieved now that I know that it has ended! All that for beautiful hair (tochang-free) and only good for three months! (Have I told you yet how it costs?) That's what it takes, my friends. That's what it takes.

Taking this topic to a higher notch, it's pretty much the same with making our souls beautiful. It takes a lot of pains to keep our soul clean, healthy and beautiful. Now how does a soul look when beautiful? When our soul only sees the good things in others, and see the bad in ourselves. How do beautify our souls? Difficult. We need a lot of humility to admit that our soul is indeed quite dirty. It also takes a lot of humility to ask advice from the RIGHT people. When our soul has mortal sin (don't know what they are? Check this out: http://www.newadvent.org/cathen/14004b.htm), our souls are ugly. So, we need to clean our souls of mortal sins and venial sins by going to the Sacrament of Confession. In confession, Jesus Christ, through his ministers - the priests - washes our sins away. "Whatever sins you forgive, they are forgiven" Jesus Christ tells his disciples.

And to go to Confession? Very difficult. First, it takes effort to research the confession schedule in our parish. If there's none, it's diffcult to look for other parishes who have confession schedules. If it's easy to find a Church with confession schedules, it's difficult for us to acknowledge that we have indeed committed a mortal sin.

So you guys might have thought how vain I am keeping such a motto. But actually it's more than physical vanity: it's spiritual vanity.

Waving My Hand for a Turn

After that Megamall incident, I have yet another Driving Horror Story to tell you.

I was driving home from Alabang after dropping off my voice teacher home and after taking-out some Yellow Cab pizza for family dinner. If you have tried driving along Zapote Road going toward SM Soputhmall, I would not need to recount to you the horrific traffic there. Just take it as it is: HORRIFIC. Good thing my teacher was with me so I had more reason to calm myself down. So I dropped her at her very cozy home in Tierra Nueva, and passed by Yellow Cab at the corner of the village. I thought waiting time for my order could be enough time to give for the traffic to ease a bit. I was wrong, and to add to that, it rained. Anyway, I had to go home and feed my family.

So I calmly drove. I thank God I reached the Toll Plaza area with the least hassle possible. But as I reached the Toll Plaza, there was a build up of cars due to a merging traffic. Road courtesy impels us to alternately give way to cars in a merging traffic. So I gave way to the car at my left calmly, and as I was about to take my turn at the merge, the car at my left aggressively accelerated to the car it was following! Hello?! Where is your courtesy?! So I, in my temper and in an effort to teach him a lesson, embarrassed myself (and hopefully embarrassed him, too), pull down my brand new Altis window, stretched out my arm to signal a turn, and looked at him straight in the eye. You're an Alabang boy and with no courtesy at all!

Sheesh. Didn't they attend the LTO seminar on Road Courtesy before they got their license? Even if they didn't attend, didn't they learn basic courtesy at home or in school?

What waste in education.

Drivers

Yes, driving. As in driving cars. I am a confessed cursing driver. I get easily impatient with uneducated drivers: jeepney drivers who drive as if they own the road, jeepney drivers who do not know how to use the side view mirrors to look if there are oncoming cars, bus drivers who don't care if there are oncoming cars (I think they become tunnel-visioned when they see potential passengers), and other drivers who do not use signal lights.

One of the highlights of my driving experience is when I was lining to park at Megamall Building A. It was a saturday afternoon and I think it was near a payday. I was diligently queuing with the other cars, and religiously following the "alternate" traffic they have always enforced when lining up to enter the building parking. I was about to take my turn, expecting that the "alternate" traffic scheme is being enforced, when a rusty-colored Kia Picanto cut me in front! I noticed the driver to be a bit fair-skinned, clean-cut hair, and even - I thought - good looking. I silently cursed at the driver and when I got a look at the sticker at the back of his car, I saw: "ATENEO SCIENCE AND ENGINEERING." Whoa! was the sticker shouting.

People according to their biases who either react in these ways: 1) "Oh my! Tsk, tsk, tsk" or 2) "Ahh...that's why."

Like what my mom told me, when we drive, we stop being educated. Now, are we going to let that initial reaction get the better of us, or make a difference?

27th Anniversary

I saw an advertisement along South Superhighway announcing the 27th anniversary of the Jesus is Lord Christian community. Funny how big the writing is and the whole ad itself. I wonder why they only put 27 years when if Jesus Christ founded the one true Church, then shouldn't they put "2005th anniversary"?

It's sad people don't realize that these are institutions founded by pure mortals 27 years ago, and not by Jesus Christ 2005 years ago. I am glad I am part of the Church who believes and has proofs that our community is founded 2005 years ago on the first 12 apostles of Jesus Christ headed by Peter, now in the presence of our beloved Pontiff.

How people change beyond our expectations!

Just met a friend this afternoon. First thing that came into my mind is this: How much he has changed! I actually commented the difference to him. Sometimes, we just think too squarely on how people are. We tend to put them in a box and expect them not to get out of their little comfort zones and remain how they are from the first day we meet them.

We really can't size them up in one sitting. Man is a mystery as I always say. People continue to surprise us with the little tweaks in their personalities. BUT! There are only two ways in which we can tweak our personality: to make it worse or to make it better. Surely, we all strive for the latter. We can't help, however, to give in to our selfish wants and make a turn for the worse.

It's really our choice to take the "road less traveled by." I'm glad that I know some people who also take that road I'm trying to tread on. I'm glad I realized I actually got company. :)

An Old Maid Crisis

Single women reaching their 30th birthday experience an immense crisis of becoming an old maid.

Though not yet 30 and still consider myself far from it, I think I am already in it! However, I see the crisis in itself as actually a crisis of vocation. What does God really want from me? What is He calling me for? Is He really calling me for a marriage vocation or to a single blessedness?

At the moment, I would like to think I am called to single blessedness until maybe I fall in love. So far, I have not fallen in love yet. Some people say that when you fall in love, all your standards crumble down. So far, it hasn't crumbled down so I presume that I have not exactly fallen in love yet.

Right now, I just continue doing what I ought to do to please God and wait until I fall in love. :)

Am I losing my grip on culture?

Just had lunch today with two of my college friends at ebun, this Kapampangan restaurant at Greenbelt 3-and boy!-what scrumptuous bangus they have!!! I have a new place to crave for now. :)

Anyway, in passing, I mentioned to them my "discovery" of Korean romantic comedies particularly My Sassy Girl. My older friend's immediate reaction: how cheap! Whoa! Both of my friends were surprised I can stomach such movies, and how much I have changed in my taste for movies. (That means that I have actually LOST the taste for good movies.) Well, I didn't let them put me down by their comments. Besides, those were their opinions.

Then we continued a conversation about the last good movie both of them watched, "Finding Neverland." As the two of them analyzed how the film was made and the sized up the overall value of the film, I was left dumbfounded by the tons of insights they had. I started reflecting: how come I cannot share an insight on it anymore? I used to "talk like them", giving "intellectual" and "academic" analysis of movies and other pertinent issues. Have I really lost my sense of high breed culture? In the end, did I overrate My Sassy Girl?

Yipes!

I need to work out on my "culture" again. I need some major overhaul and "acculturize" myself again! Perhaps this is what happens to me when I am far from the academic world. The corporate world has probably turned me into one "material girl". Have I forgotten the transcendental values? Have I forgotten the really important and essential things in life? Have we forgotten them?

My Sassy Girl

I wasn't such a freak for Romantic Comedies, but this one got my attention.

Actually, it didn't initially attract me despite the many raves I heard about it from my friends. I wasn't enthused to get a dibidi copy of the movie until the other day when I did some "impulsive" buying. (I originally intended to look for a single dibidi of Dead Poets Society, and I end up getting 4 movies that are unplanned!)

Out of curiosity for the movie that is oh-so-hyped-up by my friends, I played it on our player, and watched. I thought I'd not finish it, and would be willing to stop it in case it will run over my CSI. To my surprise, I find myself intensely watching, I couldn't leave my seat... basically, I was enthralled by this film!

What I find amazing with this movie is that it is actually not one of your typical love stories you can already predict the course of their love-hate relationship. My one word for this movie is: Crafty. (Just a little turn-off in this movie is one scene in the beginning, but with a pure heart, I think it should not be interpreted or imagined more than what it is.) I am quite impressed with the writer and director of the film. How they came up with such ingenuity is simply remarkable. I appreciate - above all - their notion of love. I am impressed with the amount of respect that Gyun Woo has for the girl (It's either she was not named in the movie or I simply forgot her name). I am also captivated by the guy's perseverance and sincere love for the girl. I also loved the way he was able to get to know the girl so well that he knows how to treat her. He simply treated her as a queen.

How I wish I could find someone who would do everything for me! (Of course, I won't take advantage of that.) Pardon my becoming mushy all of a sudden. Honestly, it's not in my genes to be one.

There are a few good Asian love stories, and this is one of them. Filipinos has still yet to come up with a good one. I hope my friend would come up with a similar crafty script and an unbiased director.

Reading through Tranquill Poet

Just read through my other blog or poetry and - boy! - was I amazed! When I am really caught up in a melancholic state, I can't believe such creativity can ooze from my mind. It's amazing how melancholics tend to be more poetic than sanguine types or even a choleric ones. :)

Feel free to browse through my other blog. I would love to hear from you and humble me a bit with your criticisms. I don't mind. :)

Mission: To Help Others

Probably the greatest feeling man needs is to feel that he or she is loved. Just try for once that no one loves you or cares for you, I think you'll go crazy. Maybe we can reflect on this need for love a bit more. Personally, I want to feel loved because it gives me the impression that I am important and that I am useful. How people love us is also one of our gauge for our goodness. Goodness is lovable. Truth is lovable.

So if you want to be loved, be good and be truthful. :)

In this blog, I won't be talking about my concerns of being loved, but my loving a friend. I hope I am not psychopathic to do so, but I feel that I have to solve other people's problems. I delight in helping (refer to the previous paragraph). However, one of the trade-offs of being so helpful is the feeling of failure.

Let's just get it straight: no one on earth can really be called the ultimate problem-solver. (Only God can be rightly called as such.) We may be able to solve this problem, but not that problem. We have to understand that in helping other people, we cannot force the other person to do what we tell them to do. We naturally fail in our efforts, but we should not fall into depression because of these.

Let me share with you the prayer commonly taught to recovering addicts and alcoholics. (Though not an alcoholic or drug addict myself, I found this prayer very helpful.)

THE SERENITY PRAYER

God, grant me:
The serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
The courage to change the things I can
And the wisdom to know the difference.

June 29, 2005 and finding boyfriends

If you read my previous blogs, I think you'd like to browse through my February 2005 archives for it, my generous father gave me an ultimatum to get married by June 30, 2005. Today is already June 29 and tomorrow will already be June 30. Am I getting married yet? NOT! First of all, I don't have any boyfriend yet nor a decent suitor to consider. (My suitors don't persevere in their wooing me because I am really one hard nut to crack!)

Some tips: Precisely, being a hard nut to crack, if you are able to even scratch my surface for a superficial "wound" then you are likely to be a candidate. For a guy to become my friend is already a headstart. But if you stop, like what's-his-name did, I am not sure if I can give you a second chance.

Girls, look for men who are persevering in their pursuit. Even if you think he is ugly, I know of several friends who gave in to a persevering suitor and are now happily married or happily engaged. :)

And another thing, girls, RESPECT. Don't give in to a guy who will not respect you. You will know if the guy respects you when he does not make moves or "chances" to be physical with you. True love goes beyond what is physical. Love is shown in one's control of one's sexual instinct -- this is respect. If he cannot stop himself, better think twice. He does not love you for who you are but he is in love with how you look. Beat that!

Epilogue to Sadness

You must be wondering what bothered me a few days back when I wrote a poem on sadness. Yes I was sad and I still consider myself sad. I cannot deny that reality, but I cannot afford to reflect it in my public life. I also have my own "Green Mountain" to escape to. I guess I just have a knack for forgetting easily. It's a talent.

What saddens me is my strong sympathy for those who are in trouble, specifically a really close friend of mine.

I am not quite sure if you have already felt the same way as I do now, but I am sure you can empathize with me. I have a friend stricken with depression. Period. I cannot go beyond this statement anymore.

Just a word of advice: Don't become emotional vampires. An emotional vampire sucks out all the negative emotions of another to the point that the "vampire" feels the same emotions as the other. We have to be strong for our friend. Empathy is good, but strength lies on the other end. Remember, too, that we do not have the solution for everything and we cannot fully blame ourselves for every wrong that happens; otherwise, we'll fall into self-pity, and dive into a depression ourselves.

Smile people!

I am just blabbing here. But I got to blab for my sanity. :)

Ahhh... Teaching

I've been teaching in DLS-C for two weeks now and I could say that it's a pretty exciting two weeks. Let me recap the excitement for you:

1. Getting to know my students and learn how to handle them (actually this is in progress).
2. Experimenting on my loosening up and see how I can manage to keep my authority intact.
3. So far, so good on my deadlines. (Whew! I thought I could not manage.)
4. The Board just asked me to be part of the Marketing Committee of the School. (My superior justified this "appointment" by saying to the Board that I am articulate! Bwahaha! How many people have I fooled?!)
5. Discovering the quirks and funny bones of my colleagues. :D
6. I am still motivated to work.
7. My Level Coordinator missed my classroom observation since there was a parent who came that prevented her from observing my class. But I told her she could come anytime. :P (Actually, that was foolish of me to invite her!!! Aargh!)
8. My club, I think, is going smoothly. Though my members would probably beg to disagree. :O I hope not though. :P

Yup, so that summarizes it.

I do miss blogging though... I am losing my momentum in expressing my thoughts with ease. :( I need to blog more often than every two weeks. Ciao!

Sadness

Perhaps it doesn't show
But the sea inside me
Is disturbed by your sadness

You were jolly and gay
It is you I admire
For your total self-giving

What triggered it, my friend?
Is it my ignorance?
Is it the world's injustice?

I wish I could see you
To hug you, to cheer you
But restraint right now is best

For you and for me
Through prayers I'll go
Hugging you, cheering you.

It's been months!

Whew! It's been 2 1/2 months since I blogged! You must be wondering what ever happened to me, huh?

Anyway, let me enumerate some milestones:
1. I got busy putting up a Family KTV bar and resto here in the City of Sta. Rosa.
2. I left Makati and went back "to my roots."
3. Started reporting for work in De La Salle Canlubang as a 2nd year English HS Teacher. (Wonderful, wonderful colleagues! Go Powerpuff! hehehe)
4. Got a super turn-off suitor... yep, still bugging me!
5. Got a flash drive - my most expensive purchase.
6. Ended my tutoring with the IS Students. I hope they all did well in their exams.
7. Ended my Philo Anthro classes.
8. Started taking voice lessons - I have a future! Hahaha!

So that's it. Hope that's enough updates for you guys.

I kinda miss blogging. Will probably start again to hone my writing skills as an English teacher. I'll require my students to start their own blogs if they haven't.

Boston.com / A&E / Media / The disappearing tween years

Sheesh... teenage girls who are 12 going on 16? Dang, I hope your kids are not one of them. If they are, I hope you do something about it soon!

Fr. Jun's Quotable quotes:

1. Prayer is not to change God's will but to change our hearts.

2. Lent is a time when we are reminded to give up some basic things [such as meat on fridays] so that we may once feel poor. Lent is a time to sympathize with the poor.

3. During Lent, we practice giving up what we like to remind us that there is one thing that we cannot give up: God.

Good out of something evil.

The recent bombing attacks of the Abu Sayyaf against our Filipino brothers and sisters who were merely coming from their 10 hour work schedule to earn their keep for their family can either jolt us or numb us.

People already start complaining about how the government tries to secure the country against these acts of terrorism, but we can never absolutely blame the government for failing. Can I blame you for failing to go to work on time? We all fail and the government is no exception. The government will never please everyone under her care for there are many stakeholders that the government has to please and all of them are not pleased by only one and the same decision.

Then who we can ultimately blame for all these? Sin. Sin is the cause of all the unhappiness in this world. Our pride that bogs us down when we fail. Our pride that bogs us down when we can instead at humbly before rejections. Our envy for other's apparent and true happiness. Our anger against people who contradict us. Our lustful tendencies that lead us to feed two families. Our greed for money, for food, always just concerned about pleasing oneself when there is infinite joy in giving. It is not the fighting that causes divorce. It is one man's or woman's lust, greed, or anger.

Let's end the talk on sin.

One thing that spurs us to hope is this: that God will draw out something good from the evil that is happening. All we have to do is to raise our minds to the same level as God's and we will start seeing the good from all this. In every failure, there is something good that we can draw out: learning. In every rejection is humility. In every bombing, we learn to trust in God and renew our piety. In every tsunami, in every accident, a good. Build this spirit of optimism in all of us and the devil will scorn us for still smiling at his effort to turn our eyes away from God.

Remember, the devil celebrates at every sin we commit. Let's resolve to go to confession soon, prepare ourselves for our indefinite deaths, and start smiling more often with God's grace.

Eres Tú

Como una promesa eres tú, eres tú,
como una mañana de verano,
como una sonrisa eres tú, eres tú,
así, así eres tú.

Toda mi esperanza eres tú, eres tú,
como lluvia fresca en mis manos,
como fuerte brisa eres tú, eres tú,
así, así eres tú.

Eres tú como el agua de mi fuente,
eres tú el fuego de mi hogar,
eres tú como el agua de mi fuente,
eres tú el fuego de mi hogar.

Como un poema eres tú, eres tú,
como una guitarra en la noche,
como el horizonte eres tú, eres tú,
así, así eres tú.

Eres tú como el agua de mi fuente,
eres tú el fuego de mi hogar,
eres tú como el agua de mi fuente,
eres tú el fuego de mi hogar.

Something Beautiful

Wonderful song. Just simply beautiful. I'd sing this to anyone who I think needs to be encouraged. I sing this whenever I receive some blessing. This could be my life's soundtrack. :)

When storms have tossed your heart
And left you weak and wan
Then you must think upon something beautiful
When all your fondest dreams
Are scattered here and yon
Then you must think upon something beautiful

The tree transformed by autumn
The way a sunset close
A water fall
A wedding cake, a rose

When every friend has foe
And hope is all but come
It's time to think upon summer skies
Carousels, butterflies
Whereupon through your eyes you'll see
That living still can be
Something beautiful